My Manifesto: The problem may be you.

> _Do not place blame with others. Instead, look inside yourself, recognize your own shortcomings and work to overcome them. That way, others may be able to learn to do the same._

This entry in my manifesto reminds me of a difficult, yet crucial, way to change my thinking. That being, instead of constantly pointing the finger of blame at others, look within myself for the solution. We all carry a measure of guilt and innocence within us. Meditate on your guilt and it may allow you to see the innocence in another. The best way to explain this is to provide the following example…

How many times have you gotten into a disagreement with someone else and said something like “You made me angry!” or “You hurt my feelings.”? Well, let me tell you a little secret – Those statements are inherently false. The fact is that no one has control over our emotions except for ourselves. No one can “make you angry” or “hurt your feelings. The only one who can affect how you feel is you. It is a choice. It may not feel like one at the time, but I suspect part of that is our initial denial of control inherent in the very statements alone. We have choice and control over our actions and reactions. The anger, the hurt, the bad feelings, the negative emotions, they only affect us. By declaring otherwise, we are not only denying truth but we are also denying our inherent ability to change the situation by making a conscious choice to react differently. It is not an easy thing to do, especially when one is emotionally wounded, but it is really the only path to resolution. The more factual way to state these feelings would be “I am choosing to react with anger to this action that you have done.” or “I am choosing to feel hurt over this action you have done”. By doing so, we assume not only truth but we also assume the right to change it if we choose to.

This is just one example. The fact is that many situations would be better solved, and faster solved, if instead of being so quick to point the finger of blame, we looked inside ourselves to ask what we could change to solve the problem.

Forty years

Forty years is not a very long time. In the grand scheme of things, it is a blink. In the history of western civilization, it is only but a couple of generations out of the hundreds. Yet, in the history of this young country, it seems so long ago.

Forty years ago, give or take a few, my mother was in a jail in Orangeburg, South Carolina. Her mother was in jail too. They were in jail for a horrible and criminal act – sitting at a lunch counter. You see, only forty years ago in many parts of this country sitting at certain counters in too many parts of this great land was illegal for a number of it’s citizens. They sat at that counter, bravely, with many others for the purpose of being arrested. Their intention was to fill the jails. To make a point. To prove how futile such barriers were in the face of common sense, decency and justice.

Forty years ago, that justice did not include in many of it’s citizens. If you were, say, African-American, that justice did not guarantee you the right to vote, the right to live in many parts of your city, the right to send your kids to any school or even the right to sit at any old lunch counter and grab a sandwich. That justice did not extend to you if your were Black or Brown or Red, “just us”. Justice for all is one of the cornerstones that this country was founded upon. Yet for the first two hundred years it was only guaranteed for some. This is made even more ironic when you consider that it was an African-American that was the first to die for that very cause some two hundred years earlier.

Forty years ago, I was just barely one year old. I was African-American. I was born in the south. History tells me that, had it not been for the extraordinary efforts of countless others before me, including my Mother and Grandmother, I would likely not have the life I live today. I certainly would not live in the places I have lived. I likely would not have the jobs I have had. I would not have been able to marry the women I have married. Therefore, I would not have had the beautiful children, we have made together. They being a product of many races and colors. Their very faces are the embodiment of the American promise.

Forty years ago, if you had asked my parents if they thought I could grow up to be anything I wanted one day, even president, they might have said “yes” but they likely would not have believed it would happen in their lifetimes. They knew how many challenges were faced. Not just by African-Americans or other people of color, They knew the challenges that the country faced in just having the very conversations and conversions on this topic we call “race”. It could not be solved in forty years any more than it had been undone in the previous four hundred.

Forty years later, we all seem to look back on this with a kind of amazement. We all talk about it as if it is long ago and in a far away land called history. We forget what an amazing thing it is, and in how short of time, that we have come to this point. This is not to say, that many problems do still not exist. They do. Yet here we are. If someone now asks me if I think my sons or my daughter could be able to be anything they want in this country, even president, I will not only know the answer – I will believe.

Forty years on, the very possibility of being able to elect an African-American to the highest public office in this great land is a jaw dropping accomplishment – as is the very fact that I am able to cast a vote. There have been many who have fought and died, even within the last forty years, to ensure it. I think we as a people, and as a nation, forget that.

Forty years from now, I pray this moment is not lost in history on my sons and my daughter. Although, I imagine they will look back on it with that same certain amazement. Amazed that it had to be so hard, for so long, over something so simple, yet made so complex. Perhaps by then they will be consumed with other issues just as important as liberty and justice and the way in which we guarantee it to our citizens. Whatever those fights may be, if there is any lesson to take away from this time in history, it is that anything is possible. Do not give up no matter what the cost as it is no higher a price paid than by countless others that came before you. And, if you must give up everything, in order to see a cause through, never give up this…

Hope.