Category Archives: the work

Is [This] Making Me Better?

I’ve come to call this The Better Metric. Whereby [This] is a place holder for anything we decide to do. Example, "Is my relationship with this person making me better?" or "Is my job making me better?"

This is the question we should always be asking ourselves about everything we choose to do. Because if the answer to this question is not yes then we should be asking some important questions. Questions like, "Am I the right person for [this]?" or "If this isn’t making me better then why am I spending time on [this]?"

Now, this metric and point of view might sound selfish. Perhaps, in some ways, it is. I’m going to argue that this is OK. This idea that all interest is self-interest is not a particularly new idea and, in fact, is considered enlightened by some. To wit, in order to give we must first receive so that we have something to give.

I know the coffee me and my wife have in the morning makes us better for getting Beatrix get off to school. I know that the time I take in solitude makes me better for being around others. I know that being a writer makes me a better human. Any endeavor I engage should make me better. And anything that does not make me better, I should not engage or find a way to disengage from as quickly as possible.

I believe we all would be better by doing the same.

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You Can Do Anything

One |fnees|referrer|zyeyn
of the ideas I have been pondering lately is one imparted to me by my friend Garrick:

“If you decide to do something, you can do anything.”

So many people are ruled by indecision. They await clarity as if it is a train that runs on Swiss time. They want to know the answers before they ask the questions. They seek the outcome before the action. So many people who’s lives are frozen in so many places. Stuck.

But, really, all they need is to get past that comma.

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You Can’t

That’s what the world tells us.

“It’s too hard.”

“It’s too expensive.”

“It doesn’t pay well enough. “

“How are you going to support yourself?”

“Your chances are between slim and none.”

“No one really does that for a living.”

“That’s not a real job.”

These are the sorts of things that we hear. It usually starts after early childhood. When those dreams of being anything you want to be…

“I want to be an astronaut!”

Because your parents tell you you can grow up to be anything you want if you put your mind to it…

“I want to be President!”

Because they really do wish it to be true for you…

“I want to be a Mutant Ninja Ranger!”

Because they love you and don’t want you to believe otherwise….

“I want to be a Kangaroo!”

Usually begin to be crushed not too long after by the realities and the expectations of a world that tells us otherwise. By schools that teach us to conform. By companies that teach us to consume. By societies that teach us to blend in.

They do this in a iety of ways. They tell us any of those excuses above. They fill us with fear of failure measured against their interpretations of success. They promote the value of easy over hard, of cost over worth, of reality over dreams.

“You are [insert some perceived impediment here] so you can’t be an astronaut.”

“The chances of being the President, especially for a [insert some stumbling block here] kid, are so small you might want to try for something a bit more realistic.”

“There are no such things as Mutant Ninja Rangers.”

“Humans can’t be kangaroos.”

But most of all, they figure out every possible way to make us believe in one big idea…

“You can’t.”

But, here’s a secret I’m going to tell you. One that I wish I could travel back in time to tell my five year old self. One that I wish I could tell to your five year old self too.

The world is wrong. You really can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it. Those that do so, those that dare to dream and who refuse believe in limitations always figure out a way. The kid who rejects such notions becomes the adult who shows it all to be a lie. And, for every “can’t”, I’m betting there is at least one example of someone who proves the “can too”.

There are examples of astronauts who were told they couldn’t be because of their gender. There are real-life superheroes who spend time dressed up in costume doing real-life good deeds and crime fighting. I’m sure we can find at least one person who lives as a kangaroo. And I’m sure our current President was told countless times he could never be President because of his race.

My point being is that, while it may not always be easy and the chances may be far against you, it does not mean what you dream of doing is impossible. That is what they want you to believe and it is a lie. And the sooner you believe that whatever crazy, outlandish, daring, brash, or, maybe even, important idea you have is possible the quicker you can get on with the work of finding a way to do it.